FRIENDS!

Leaning against the wall, sipping on coffee that no longer tastes sweet, but tastes like blood. My lips begins to hurt. Maybe I’ve been so deep in thought that I didn’t even notice my own teeth cutting my pursed lower lip. As I try to compose myself, I notice a strange petrifying reflection of my face through the window, my own eyes glittering with tears. This really hasn’t been a good week for me.

You know when you stay too long in a place where you often feel alienated, patterns of pain become etched in your mind and when that happens, you get stuck on stupid. Yeap trust me I know, I have quite a good experience on that. Some things just need to be written off, even some people too! It’s one thing to think you know what your friends thinK and feel about you, and it’s another thing to actually hear it said out loud  and then you realise whether you really do matter or not.

To tell you the truth, to meet someone or people in your life is a holy encounter and you treat them as you treat yourself, you think of them as you do of yourself for in them it’s either you find yourself or you lose yourself. Well I’ve discovered that some of the people I call friends don’t actually consider me as one, but just as an outsider. Mxm well like I said some people simple need to be written off!

Anyways, apart from the dramatic “friends” I seem to have, God has blessed me with the most wonderful good friends :), and it’s quite overwhelming to be honest, each individual is special.

Have you ever had a friend you call “joker”, the absurd one :). One who wipes a frown with a huge grin that even blinds you :), the one who cracks you up and you just roll down the stairs and die with laughter, you lough even if you’re bleeding inside. The one who numbs everything, you just smile through the pain. You always light up like a kid’s face on Christmas morning whenever they’re around. Life seems much easier in their presence, you just “BREATHE”. Yes they do hurt but they sure do know how to blow an insult off or any sort of soreness. Intelligent as well, the book worms (well some of them lol) and if you didn’t know better you’d swear they feed on textbooks. Wonderful friends indeed :)!

Sometimes you need someone to bring you back to reality, like a bucket of ice-cold water dumped on your head. You know that moment when the circle of life converges, when fantasies seem better than reality, there’s always that certain someone beside you. The serious one lol, someone who keeps you grounded all the time, the one who never takes anything for granted, always checking up on you. Yes they do get shaken, but are just never moved. Great sisters I tell you and trust me you do need such friends ‘coz when the going gets tougher, when you feel like throwing in the towel, when you have hope as little as your little finger, they are always there to help you rise from the ashes of shame .

Then there are those you never make sense of, the mysterious ones. Yes they are your
friends, you forever click but you are just never certain of them. It’s scary I tell you. It’s more like trying to stretch a concrete rubber band that keeps rolling back, and sometimes you wonder how you became friends in the first place. But I absolutely adore them, they remind me that a friend doesn’t necessarily have to be someone you know from the inside out, definitely not who you’ve known for how long, but someone who’s been there for you, someone who makes you feel appreciated and realise that you are worthy of love.

Then there comes a punching bag, the one who knows you more than you even know yourself, who understands you more than your own sister. Your friendship doesn’t depend on how often you call or sms each other; you can be thousand miles apart, but still be best friends. A friend you’re not afraid to tell “hey, this is so not on”, the one you’d confess murder to, yes the one you share your deep darkest secrets with. You fight tooth and nail, you lough together, you cry together and starve together :), and that is a blessing enough to know that someone is still holding your hand.

We all need somebody to lean on, somebody who’s got your life on their hands. If you have friends that give more clarity and purpose to your life, treat them right and be careful of what you say ‘coz words said are never retrieved.